The Gin Lover's Guide to Dating: A sparkling and hilarious feel good romantic comedy by Nina Kaye

Author:Nina Kaye [Kaye, Nina]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781409196167
Publisher: Orion
Published: 2019-11-03T18:30:00+00:00

Chapter 18

The next morning, I wake groggily around ten. Feeling more tired than usual, I pull the duvet up to my chin, making the most of the cosy warmth. I decide I’ll just relax and enjoy the comfort of my bed for a while longer.

As I’m enjoying the indulgent feeling of not having to be anywhere, I allow myself to drift through the memories of the evening before last: my night with Josh still providing just as much enjoyment as it did at the time. Unfortunately, after reliving it couple of times – his scent, the lingering taste of gin on his lips, his firm but tender touch – my mind loses focus and wanders to less welcome thoughts, and soon I’m immersed in a full-scale assessment of my current predicament.

Where am I really? Failing in a career that possibly wasn’t right for me in the first place? Was it more the allure of the corporate world, that promise of prosperity and security? After a childhood of hardship: opening an empty fridge day after day, being teased for being so scrawny in faded, tatty clothes. I wasn’t the only kid from a deprived background, but probably the least nurtured and looked after. I remember the tutting of the other parents: the whispers of why social services hadn’t put me in foster care. They thought I didn’t hear, but I did. I wanted to put that existence behind me, to never have to go to bed cold and hungry again. What’s actually wrong with that?

I feel an overwhelming sense of vulnerability. Have I lost sight of why I made the choices I made? Allowing materialism to take over from my survival instincts so I could fit in. Living a false life in a way, with no real friendships. A tiny cog in a huge machine, where my projects could be halted and discarded like trash. I had a good, steady income that meant my kitchen cupboards were never bare, I could afford to have the heating on, and I had a secure roof over my head. I forgot how important that was.

Now I can count on two hands the number of weeks I have left before I’m homeless. Have I really tried hard enough to get my career back on track?

I lie there, torturing and berating myself for being such a failure and for taking things for granted – something I had promised myself I would never do. My irrational inner voice chides me cruelly and relentlessly until it’s interrupted by the alarm on my phone, set only to stop me sleeping till midday – which I might easily do after a long shift.

I pick up my phone to silence it and see I have a text from Dylan.

Hey Squirt. Hope you don’t mind, but I logged into your admin page to check your subscribers. You’ve just topped 2k! It’s moved faster than I expected. This is it. You’re gonna make money on this, but you need to be on it. Get another post done fast!

I stare at his message in disbelief.

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